Challenging, difficult, stressful etc. were some common terms I heard about parenting when we settled in New Zealand in 2021. Family and friends living in Australia, New Zealand and Europe cautioned us about the hardship in balancing wellness and parenting. Were they right? This blog offers the answer with our personal experience and the knowledge we have gained.

Research shows that parent’s wellbeing directly impacts the development of children. When parents maintain healthy lifestyle, children’s development including emotional health improves. It’s a proven fact that children learn from parents; be it exercise, watch TV, follow healthy diets or do creative arts. We, unintentionally teach them the values they will be judged for later in their lives. I am not a parenting expert but have more than 10 years professional experience in community development promoting healthy families and communities. Most importantly, I’ve watched my parents experience mid-life health issues to getting incredibly vulnerable at the old age.

Beyond any doubt, family responsibilities and financial worries bring negative repercussions in a social media age when we’re constantly self-evaluating. We can’t ignore the facts that we ‘parents’ influence our children’s physical, emotional and overall cognitive development. The healthier we are, the more loved and supported they would feel. And we don’t need rigid health plans or fancy diet but simple ways to keep our body resilient and our emotions balanced. Few steps outside, breathing exercise, simple stretching and even switching off the gadgets refreshes body and mind. Personally, I have always enjoyed walking at night – the sight of moon, stars with no background noise is refreshingly relaxing. I bet everyone has their own way to rejuvenate, please share yours in the comment section.

Creating a balance between parenting and wellness may sound a modern-day phenomenon, but the pursuit of healthy living has deep historical roots. Ancient emperors sought the secrets to longevity and natural remedies to wellness. Many of the modern-day popular foods; figs, dates, avocados and grapes were staples in the traditional diets of emperors for vitality and fitness. Even coffee became globally popular not for its flavour but for its perceived health benefits. I do admit that nothing including health is guaranteed in today’s uncertain world. And chronic diseases (diabetes, asthma, dementia etc) can occur to anyone reminding us of nature’s unpredictability. Hence, choosing a healthy and mindful life within our limited time is not a luxury – it’s a foundation to a happy family. 

Finding balance between Wellness and Family:

As migrant parents, settling in a new country often comes with cultural adjustments, financial burdens, and emotional strain. Amidst these obligations, health and wellness sometimes slips down the list of priorities—but they are critical for both parents and children.

Hard decisions that matter

When parents are occupied with responsibilities: working full-time, managing family commitments, and maintaining social connections, self-care often becomes a luxury. I remember the difficulty of finding time for a simple walk or exercise session while managing my duties at work and fulfilling family and social commitments. My diet began to deteriorate, and I noticed getting my first grey hairs especially when you’re parenting a special child. So, I had to step back from social projects, community obligations and adventure activities with friends. It wasn’t easy as friendship circle became smaller, but it gave me the time and space to focus on creative work and family life. The trade-off was necessary to restore balance and calmness.

The values we carry as we travel

In many resource-limited countries like Afghanistan, the concept of a healthy lifestyle is often overshadowed by survival needs. People work hard to pay for food, basic education and shelter, leaving little room for wellness routines. You’d find different versions of bread and rice as the main staples, while meat and fruits are reserved for only special occasions. Thus, people face health complications later in their lives. I’ve seen my own mother struggle with her health as the result of poor diet at the young age. They lived in a terrible time; it was not their choice. 

For many, health is seen as a privilege rather than a priority. But for the Afghans living in countries with greater access to resources—nutritious food, leisure time, and support systems—focusing on wellbeing isn’t indulgence; it’s a responsibility. For example, most of health costs are subsidized by the government in New Zealand, Germany etc. Thus, prioritizing health benefits not only your productivity but also strengthens your relationships and emotional connection with loved ones. We sometimes perform breathing exercise as a mindfulness activity and Anam (our daughter) joins in for entertainment purposes, lolz.  

Breaking the social stigma

Physical fitness is vital, but mental and emotional wellbeing is equally important. Unfortunately, many parents, especially fathers hesitate to discuss mental health due to stigma or cultural expectations. They carry the weight of family obligations, often ignoring their emotional struggles until they manifest as stress, irritability, or exhaustion. Even my own friends share about the mental pressure they carry fulfilling the needs and demands of their families. I sometimes listen as they share the common struggles we all face. Sometimes, I encourage them for simple exercises knowing that I know only half of their stories.

As a parent, I’ve learned that children are highly perceptive. When parents manage their emotions effectively, they create a secure, nurturing environment where children feel supported and loved. Conversely, when children witness their parents struggling silently, they may internalize anxiety or develop similar coping difficulties later in life.

Therefore, getting mental health is an act of love rather than a weakness. Children raised by healthy parents are emotionally resilient. By breaking the stigma, we can create families that thrive, not just survive.

Your wellness is not act of selfishness but a necessity

Prioritizing your wellbeing may feel selfish at first, but it’s one of the most selfless acts you can do for your family. When parents are physically fit and emotionally stable, parenting becomes a joyful experience. Stress about finances and parenting responsibilities can create a restless environment that can affect the emotional health of children.

Finding small ways to relieve stress through mindfulness, breathing exercises, creative hobbies, or engaging activities with your kids can rebuild joy and strengthen family bonds. These simple practices enhance not only your mood and energy but also your connection with your children. Then you’ll love the meaningful bonding times with the little ones.

As my final thoughts to all the parents out there: healthy parents truly do create happy children. When we nurture our physical health and emotional wellbeing, we model balance, resilience, and compassion. These are the values our children will carry into their own lives. Investing in your health isn’t a distraction from parenting, it’s the foundation of your precious journey, parenthood.

Jawad Jahid